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I love a Challenge, BUT...

25/7/2019

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Wow, as I sit to write this post - I'm not even sure where to start!  I guess I begin with my love hate relationship with "Fitness / Weight Loss Challenges" - I'm currently doing one with F45 and loving every minute of it... but there is an undercurrent within them that also has me despising them!

To really understand where I am coming from, I think we need to take a quick look back at my journey.  In 2008, I lost more than 45kg and I felt amazing for it - healthier, fitter, happier and a heck of a lot more attractive!  I purchased the Curves I'd be working out at, re-trained as a Personal Trainer and by 2010, I'd added the Coaching side of things to my business.  My focus was on helping people to lose the weight, feel better about themselves and to live happier, healthier lives - and I was doing a damn good job too, the business was recognised for several consecutive years as "The Best in Fitness"!
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​I completely shifted my lifestyle - the drugs, the alcohol, the crazy arse partying all stopped and instead, I focused on my health and fitness.   I was a busy Mum, running a gym, Coaching clients and juggling it all.
But about half way through my pregnancy with my Daughter (my 3rd child) I knew I couldn't do it all anymore - something had to give and I sold the gym and moved into a Clinic space to focus 100% on Coaching and family.  And I am so glad I did!  When my Daughter was delivered - the cesarean had complications, I ended up with an MRSA (golden staph) infection in my wound and my well-being went downhill pretty frigging quickly - physically, emotionally and mentally!

I started gaining weight, couldn't exercise without being exhausted for the rest of the week, my Daughter barely slept, my marriage was in tatters, it was pretty fucking shit!  And the more weight I gained, the worse I felt about myself.  And then, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease and realised, I really had to take a step back and look at my life - I was depressed, anxious, exhausted and had gained 20 kg of that weight I worked so hard to lose.  I knew I had to change things!
And it began with changing my metric - I couldn't focus on the weight loss aspect of Health - I had to focus on Wellness.  I began researching nutrition and going back to nourishing movements like walking and yoga when I could.  I re-discovered my spiritual self and did heaps of learning from Eastern Philosophies and deep diving into my own psychology!
And as I learned to really accept where I was in that moment, and truly love myself - things started to really shift!  Through the inner work I was doing, my body began to come back into balance - my thyroid levels began to come back to normal, my antibodies dropped and I began to heal - on all levels!
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And it has only been in the last few months that my bloods are 100%!  Perfect health!  And, so with a little more work on my beliefs and values and releasing some of the identity that I'd created around being unwell and holding extra weight - I was ready to really get back into what I KNEW was RIGHT FOR ME!

I re-joined F45 nearly 6 weeks ago and started combining my knowledge of healing protocols (intermittent fasting, high plant based food), with my knowledge of fitness nutrition and working out and I have lost 8.5kg.  And now, with Challenge starting this week, I know that there is a whole lot more that is about to shred.  BUT, I am not at the gym because I hate my body - I do it because I love it!  I do not "deprive" myself of any food - I eat to nourish my mind and body.  

So, what do I HATE about Fitness / Weight Loss Challenges?  The comparisons and the "punishment mindset"!  Every BODY is different - you can look at my results and see the last 6 weeks, but you don't see the journey back up from the bottom that it took to get to that space.  When you compare your own effort and results to someone else - they may have a different body type (ectomorphs are naturally thin,  endomorphs will naturally carry more fat and mesomorphs will gain muscle easily) and then there is body shapes - apples, pears, hourglass.  And each metabolism is different, each mindset is different, each persons values and beliefs are different and when you compare your journey and results to someone else - you risk losing site of what really matters.  Comparison misses the whole point of your life – to be you. To be the unique once-in-humankind blend of gifts, passions, interests, quirks and magic that you are and at its worst - it is self destructive to your self-esteem and self worth.

It's too easy to give up when you go into these things beating up on yourself - it's not healthy!  Or when you are comparing yourself and not getting the same results - it's easy to forget why you started and instead wallow in your struggle - which only leaves you with more struggle!  There is no winner when you are battling yourself!

Instead, focus on what you really want - ensure your WHY is strong enough to create the "WANT POWER" to drive you forward and consider doing it because you love yourself, not because you hate what you look like.  It makes it much easier to get up each day and get to the gym, or make the healthier choices or to push that extra rep... because you inner voice is different - you have that inner cheerleader in your corner, backing you - always!
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Therapy or Coaching?

24/5/2019

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I often get asked what kind of Coach are you?  Or, what's the difference between Coaching and Therapy?  Or, can't you just hypnotise me and make me change?  And so, I thought I'd share my answers with you! 
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I often get asked if I am a Coach or Therapist, and the answer is - I'm both!  

I'm not sure if you've ever been down the traditional therapy route, but it's very much focused on the problem and your past; and traditional coaching focuses on visioning, success, the present and moving toward the future (without the emotions).  As a Transformational Coach, I am  interested in your past and the problem you're seeking help with, but not in a traditional way!  You know your story inside out and back the front and having you re-tell it to me, isn't going to solve it - so in our session, I'm listening differently; I am listening for the patterns of emotion, thoughts and behaviours that keep you stuck in the problem.  More of my focus is on what you DO want, on crafting that vision of what you want your life to be like without the problem!  I want to help you clear those unconscious patterns of thought, emotion and behaviour or those interferences that are holding you back, help you to build any resources you might need (self love, confidence, inner peace, strength, courage etc) and really help you to get to where you want to be.  Working at the unconscious level with those patterns, is what makes Transformational Coaching a brief therapy (meaning most things can be resolved in around 3-8 sessions).

But it doesn't stop there, I've titled myself as a Transformational Coach and Awakener.  According to yourdictionary.com, an Awakener is "someone who awakens", but what does that really mean?

As an Awakener, I believe that you have all of the resources that you need within you.  My role is to Awaken the Power of Your Mind, to facilitate you to make the changes and to help you pave your own pathway forward.  Awakening goes beyond coaching, teaching, mentoring and sponsorship to include the level of vision and spirit, bringing out the best of your understanding of spiritual self.  Albert Einstein said that we can't solve a problem at the level it was created, so my role as an Awakener is to reconnect you with that core of who you really are, going beyond your current conditioning and the limits of who you think you are, allowing you to easily BE who you want to be.

So why don't I just hypnotise you and "make you" change? Whilst I can and do absolutely use hypnosis in my sessions, but I'd much rather you be involved in your own change - you're in control of your mind and therefore your results.  Allowing you to be more involved in the sessions, means that you get the benefit of having the richness and learnings - and it's that 'learning' that assists with long term, lasting results.  Imagine that I took away your learnings that things that are hot can burn, but I just stopped you from touching the stove... you'd not burn yourself on the stove, but you might find other hot things to burn yourself on.  The awareness and lesson is important - simply changing a behaviour doesn't mean you won't find other ways to 'sabotage'.  Or if we hypnotised you to stop smoking, without looking at the patterns behind your smoking, or finding other ways to have those needs that drive you to smoke met... you'd either start smoking again or perhaps take up drinking or some other way to meet the need.  All behaviours have a positive intention - so we need to find that intention and find a better way to get it met.  Makes more sense, doesn't it?  :)

With over 10 years of helping people, I am an "everything coach" - the patterns we run in life filter through personal life, business, career, passions, relationships, health, wealth, parenting.  It really doesn't matter what the topic is.  My role is to help you to identify where you are at now (the patterns, beliefs, values, self concepts etc) that are holding you back, what attitudes, attributes and skills you need to move forward and help you to really get to where you want to be.  So whether you want to let go of anxiety, overcome depression, release the trauma of abuse from your past, find yourself again or let go of self-doubt, fears and limiting beliefs, I would love to help you.

If you'd like to set up a call to Discover more, book in for your FREE 25 Minute Session.
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7 Myths of Meditation by Deepak Chopra

29/12/2018

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In the past 40 years, meditation has entered the mainstream of modern Western culture, and been prescribed by physicians and practiced by everyone from business executives, artists, and scientists to students, teachers, military personnel, and -- on a promising note -- politicians. Ohio Congressman Tim Ryan meditates every morning and has become a major advocate of mindfulness and meditation, as he describes in his book, A Mindful Nation: How a Simple Practice Can Help Us Reduce Stress, Improve Performance, and Recapture the American Spirit. Despite the growing popularity of meditation, prevailing misconceptions about the practice are a barrier that prevents many people from trying meditation and receiving its profound benefits for the body, mind, and spirit. Here are seven of the most common meditation myths, dispelled.

Myth #1: Meditation is difficult.
Truth: This myth is rooted in the image of meditation as an esoteric practice reserved only for saints, holy men, and spiritual adepts. In reality, when you receive instruction from an experienced, knowledgeable teacher, meditation is easy and fun to learn. The techniques can be as simple as focusing on the breath or silently repeating a mantra. One reason why meditation may seem difficult is that we try too hard to concentrate, we're overly attached to results, or we're not sure we are doing it right. In our experience at the Chopra Center, learning meditation from a qualified teacher is the best way to ensure that the process is enjoyable and you get the most from your practice. A teacher will help you understand what you're experiencing, move past common roadblocks, and create a nourishing daily practice.


Myth #2: You have to quiet your mind in order to have a successful meditation practice.
Truth: This may be the number one myth about meditation and is the cause of many people giving up in frustration. Meditation isn't about stopping our thoughts or trying to empty our mind -- both of these approaches only create stress and more noisy internal chatter. We can't stop or control our thoughts, but we can decide how much attention to give them. Although we can't impose quiet on our mind, through meditation we can find the quiet that already exists in the space between our thoughts. Sometimes referred to as "the gap," this space between thoughts is pure consciousness, pure silence, and pure peace. When we meditate, we use an object of attention, such as our breath, an image, or a mantra, which allows our mind to relax into this silent stream of awareness. When thoughts arise, as they inevitably will, we don't need to judge them or try to push them away. Instead, we gently return our attention to our object of attention. In every meditation, there are moments, even if only microseconds, when the mind dips into the gap and experiences the refreshment of pure awareness. As you meditate on a regular basis, you will spend more and more time in this state of expanded awareness and silence. Be assured that even if it feels like you have been thinking throughout your entire meditation, you are still receiving the benefits of your practice. You haven't failed or wasted your time. When my friend and colleague David Simon taught meditation, he would often tell students, "The thought I'm having thoughts may be the most important thought you have ever thought, because before you had that thought, you may not have even known you were having thoughts. You probably thought you were your thoughts." Simply noticing that you are having thoughts is a breakthrough because it begins to shift your internal reference point from ego mind to witnessing awareness. As you become less identified with your thoughts and stories, you experience greater peace and open to new possibilities.

Myth #3: It takes years of dedicated practice to receive any benefits from meditation.
Truth: The benefits of meditation are both immediate and long-term. You can begin to experience benefits the first time you sit down to meditate and in the first few days of daily practice. Many scientific studies provide evidence that meditation has profound effects on the mind-body physiology within just weeks of practice. For example, a landmark study led by Harvard University and Massachusetts General Hospital found that as little as eight weeks of meditation not only helped people experience decreased anxiety and greater feelings of calm; it also produced growth in the areas of the brain associated with memory, empathy, sense of self, and stress regulation. At the Chopra Center, we commonly hear from new meditators who are able to sleep soundly for the first time in years after just a few days of daily meditation practice. Other common benefits of meditation include improved concentration, decreased blood pressure, reduced stress and anxiety, and enhanced immune function. You can learn more about the benefits of meditation in a recent post, "Why Meditate?" on the Chopra Center blog.

​Myth #4: Meditation is escapism.
Truth: The real purpose of meditation isn't to tune out and get away from it all but to tune in and get in touch with your true self -- that eternal aspect of yourself that goes beyond all the everchanging, external circumstances of your life. In meditation you dive below the mind's churning surface, which tends to be filled with repetitive thoughts about the past and worries about the future, into the still point of pure consciousness. In this state of transcendent awareness, you let go of all the stories you've been telling yourself about who you are, what is limiting you, and where you fall short -- and you experience the truth that your deepest self is infinite and unbounded. As you practice on a regular basis, you cleanse the windows of perception and your clarity expands. While some people do try to use meditation as a form of escape -- as a way to bypass unresolved emotional issues -- this approach runs counter to all of the wisdom teachings about meditation and mindfulness. In fact, there are a variety of meditation techniques specifically developed to identify, mobilize and release stored emotional toxicity. If you are coping with emotional upset or trauma, I recommend that you work with a therapist who can help you safely explore and heal the pain of the past, allowing you to return to your natural state of wholeness and love.

Myth #5: I don't have enough time to meditate.
Truth: There are busy, productive executives who have not missed a meditation in 25 years, and if you make meditation a priority, you will do it. If you feel like your schedule is too full, remember that even just a few minutes of meditation is better than none. We encourage you not to talk yourself out of meditating just because it's a bit late or you feel too sleepy. In life's paradoxical way, when we spend time meditating on a regular basis, we actually have more time. When we meditate, we dip in and out of the timeless, spaceless realm of consciousness... the state of pure awareness that is the source of everything that manifests in the universe. Our breathing and heart rate slow down, our blood pressure lowers, and our body decreases the production of stress hormones and other chemicals that speed up the aging process and give us the subjective feeling that we are "running out of time." In meditation, we are in a state of restful alertness that is extremely refreshing for the body and mind. As people stick with their meditation ritual, they notice that they are able to accomplish more while doing less. Instead of struggling so hard to achieve goals, they spend more and more time "in the flow" -- aligned with universal intelligence that orchestrates everything.

Myth #6: Meditation requires spiritual or religious beliefs.
​Truth: Meditation is a practice that takes us beyond the noisy chatter of the mind into stillness and silence. It doesn't require a specific spiritual belief, and many people of many different religions practice meditation without any conflict with their current religious beliefs. Some meditators have no particular religious beliefs, or are atheist or agnostic. They meditate in order to experience inner quiet and the numerous physical and mental health benefits of the practice -- including lowered blood pressure, stress reduction, and restful sleep. The original reason that I started meditating was to help myself stop smoking. Meditation helps us to enrich our lives. It enables us to enjoy whatever we do in our lives more fully and happily -- whether that is playing sports, taking care of our children, or advancing in our career.

Myth #7: I'm supposed to have transcendent experiences in meditation.
Truth: Some people are disappointed when they don't experience visions, see colors, levitate, hear a choir of angels, or glimpse enlightenment when they meditate. Although we can have a variety of wonderful experiences when we meditate, including feelings of bliss and oneness, these aren't the purpose of the practice. The real benefits of meditation are what happens in the other hours of the day when we're going about our daily lives. When we emerge from our meditation session, we carry some of the stillness and silence of our practice with us, allowing us to be more creative, compassionate, centered, and loving to ourselves and everyone we encounter.



As you begin or continue your meditation journey, here are some other guidelines that may help you on your way:

• Have no expectations. Sometimes the mind is too active to settle down. Sometimes it settles down immediately. Sometimes it goes quiet, but the person doesn't notice. Anything can happen.

• Be easy with yourself. Meditation isn't about getting it right or wrong. It's about letting your mind find its true nature.

• Don't stick with meditation techniques that aren't leading to inner silence. Find a technique that resonates with you. There are many kinds of mantra meditation, including the Primordial Sound Meditation practice taught at the Chopra Center. Or simply follow the in and out of your breathing, not paying attention to your thoughts at all. The mind wants to find its source in silence. Give it a chance by letting go.

• Make sure you are alone in a quiet place to meditate. Unplug the phone. Make sure no one is going to disturb you.

• Really be there. If your attention is somewhere else, thinking about your next appointment, errand or meal, of course you won't find silence.


For more information on our Meditation Classes, visit:  https://www.tammybiton.com.au/meditationclasseswollondilly.html



Deepak Chopra is co-author of Super Brain: Unleashing the Explosive Power of Your Mind to Maximize Health, Happiness, and Spiritual Well-Being and founder of The Chopra Foundation source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/deepak-chopra/meditation-myths_b_2823629.html



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Do you believe?

7/12/2018

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"Whether you think you can, or think you can't - you're right."   - Henry Ford

​It's almost that time of year again, where if you haven't already; you might start to look at what you've achieved this year.  You might begin to consider what you want from next year and you might even give up the dream long before you begin.
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There is the age old coaching question:  If you knew you couldn't fail, what would you do?  And if we look at the wisdom of Thomas Edison, he famously shares that he never failed in his attempts to create the light bulb, he just found 100 ways it wouldn't work.

So whilst its great to open up possibilities and begin to consider what you want from life - is what you want important enough for you to learn 100 ways it won't work?    Are you willing to back yourself in the face of what if?  Are you willing to step out of your comfort zone and possibly experience a bit of pain in order to gain what you desire?

“By trying, you may fail others. By not, you fail yourself.” 

Once you are clear on what you want, you know that it's important enough and what sacrifices you'll need to make to achieve it - if you still want it, what is left to stop you?

Oh, right!  Maybe those pesky old beliefs?  

It might be a challenge to step away from those old beliefs at first, you might need to step out of the construct of who you belief you are and what you believe you're capable of, step out of your comfort zone.  

Sometimes beliefs are easy to change, simply by becoming aware of them and challenging them with evidence to the contrary, by realising the limitations of that limiting belief.  Maybe it was created back when you were 4 years old, but you're older and wiser now (either that or you're a genius 4 year old reading this article!) ;)   

Sometimes we need to find new beliefs and in this instance, affirmations can be useful (as long as they are believable or you may just spiral yourself into more doubt and insecurity).  It's for this reason I am a massive fan of small consecutive steps rather than MASSIVE leaps.   For example, it might be more effective to believe that you can do something rather than jumping immediately to believing you are world class at it.  If you lack a skill that needs to be learned, believing you now have it may just lead to problems.  It is better to believe that you are ABLE TO LEARN.  Believing "I can" can be more powerful than thinking "I am".  Create some I can beliefs around what you want to achieve.

And then... Fake it 'til you make it.  Acting as if you can do something can shift and change your neurological wiring along with your beliefs.  The mind can't tell the difference between real and imagined, you often hear of actors getting "consumed" by their roles, don't you?  And that's why!  It sounds simple, but it's so effective.

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If you want some help creating a stronger vision of what you want from any area of life, my goal guide can help you assess where things are now, where you'd like them to be, get clear on what's truly important to you and them guide you through setting great goals. 
Grab Your Goal Guide

​If you want to find out more about REDISCOVERING who you're meant to be, want to discuss Coaching or Therapy or simply want to share your thoughts!  I'd love to hear from you!  
Message me!  :)  
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Are you an impostor?

22/11/2018

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Have you ever felt like everyone was about to discover you had no idea what you were doing?  In any given moment, you were about to be discovered as a fraud, an impostor and everyone would find out you really aren't that good?

Albert Einstein described himself as an "involuntary swindler" and believed his work didn't deserve the amount of attention it received.  Acclaimed American poet, storyteller, activist, and autobiographer, Maya Angelou, describes the feeling that she would be found out

“I have written 11 books but each time I think ‘Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’” — Maya Angelou

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Unfortunately, this is so common, people always feeling like they are one step away from being caught out.  Often there are patterns of Perfectionism (if it's not perfect, then it isn't good), Fear of Failure (avoiding stepping outside of whats comfortable for fear of not succeeding) and Undermining Achievements / Discounting Praise (disregarding the positives / successes and holding onto the negatives).

These beliefs begin to influence our behaviours and as we gather more and more evidence to support the belief that we are a fraud, the more self-fulfilling it becomes (at least in our own mind).  Take a moment to think back to when you believed in Santa Claus, you ignored all of the contradictory evidence, didn't you?  You were able to be easily swayed by an evidence or argument instead that supported your belief.  But maybe as you started to question, you became more sceptical and questioned the evidence more until finally, you stopped believing he was real.

It's the same when you hold the belief that you're an impostor!  You will discount all of the things that you did well, ignoring that evidence that supports you've done well and instead gathering all of the "proof" that you're not enough.

As you may already know, our beliefs, values and programs filter the way we see the world and literally and intrinsically change the way we perceive and experience the world around us.   They craft the meanings that we hold about our experiences and therefore, the emotions and feelings that we have about situations too.

The interesting thing, according to research we all have that negative self talk (and sometimes it's useful).  The difference is in how we process it, the value we place on it, whether we listen or not.

Sometimes, looking at something from a different perspective can help us to see things different, to begin to interpret the world differently, change the meanings we place on situations.  In NLP, we talk about the "model of the world" or the "map" from which people are operating and the map is not the territory.   

I recently went Kayaking in the Royal National Park in Sydney and as I stood on the beach at Bundeena, I could see the Coastline of Cronulla - if I was to drive, it would take about 45 mins and yet, if I looked at the map and followed directions, that map wouldn't capture the terrain, the territory, the beauty of the sunrise, the hiking trails within the park - the map would be impoverish.  


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And our map of the world is just like that, we receive 2 million bits of information every second and yet we distort, delete and generalise that down to just 5-9 bits that we consciously process - and those bits are determined by our filters.  There is so much more happening in any moment than what we can ever be consciously aware of.

And yet, we attract more of what we focus on!  So when we are focused on the negative chunks of information, the evidence that we are frauds (in our own perception), the more we will find.... and again... that circle continues.  By updating our map and filling in some of those distortions, deletions and generalisations, by seeing things from a different perspective - we can begin to shift our thoughts and feelings.
 
But, if everyone has the negative voice and 70% of people suffer from the impostor syndrome, what can we do about it?

1. Say thank you!  Each and every time you receive a compliment, acknowledge it and say, thanks!  I wonder how you feel when you compliment someone and they say, "Yeah, but... "; it's frustrating isn't it?  So instead, try accepting the compliment with a simple thanks

2. Journal your own wins, successes, achievements and recognise that you do deserve them

3. Reframe!!!  When you find yourself giving meaning to things and that meaning doesn't serve you.  Ask yourself, what else can it mean?  For example, if someone gives you a "look" and you've decided that means they don't like you.... ask yourself, what else could that look mean?  Maybe it means they are constipated, maybe they are running through their own insecurities, maybe they are thinking about the fight they had with their partner... it could mean anything!  Find one that fits and works to serve you.

4.  If all of that fails, get a coach!  (Preferably one that's NLP trained) And work on your old beliefs, values, patterns and programs - clear out what's no longer serving you.
 
Have questions or feedback? Message me!
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Watch TEDX - Thinking your way out of impostor syndrome

If you'd like to find out more about Coaching or Therapy, visit facebook or simply message me!

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Why the heck would I want to surrender?

12/11/2018

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I remember working with a Spiritual Teacher and Author what seems like a lifetime ago and she would often talk about "Surrender" and honestly, even with my personal development work... I didn't really know what she meant, I understood it was letting go, trusting... but it was all just a philosophical theory.  A woo-woo concept.

And then immediately after the birth of my third child, I got really sick.  My marriage was breaking down, I was battling a golden staph (MRSA) infection from the hospital, dealing with symptoms of being completely and utter exhaustion, a baby who seemed to have constant bronchilitis and never really slept, who refused to go to anyone else and I was completely burnt out - emotionally and physically.  Instead of losing my baby weight, I started gaining weight i and was completely at a loss.

Thankfully I have a few friends in the same industry as me and I reached out to them to gain some perspective and began to pull myself out of the massive hole I felt like I was in.  I started to work on myself and slowly climbed back out, still feeling exhausted, but on the pathway to healing - I discovered I had Hashimotos, an auto-immune disease that means your body attacks your thyroid (which is largely responsible for your metabolism and energy function and as I have since learned so so much more).

I began to throw everything at it - complete dietary change, lifestyle, detoxing my home of chemicals... I went all out.  And it was at an Ongoing Professional Development workshop where I met Penny Tompkins and James Lawley and explored working on myself "metaphorically".  I was one of the demonstration people when they built their online learning program, so if you ever decide to learn Clean Language online, you will see the session; at the end of that session (which looking back was far more than what I initially took from it) came that damn word again... "Surrender". 

​Over the coming days I couldn't help but think.  Why the F*#@ would I want to surrender?  I want to beat this thing, I know I can heal - the mind and body are connected and therefore affect each other.  This is what I help others work with, this is where all of my passion lies... I can heal this.  Why would I want to surrender to it?

And then after a period of time still trying to "fix" myself (more of a battle against my symptoms, especially the extra weight and the fatigue), I realised what it meant.  


To the ego mind, surrender means giving up. To the spiritual mind, surrender means giving in and receiving. – Marianne Williamson

​Surrender wasn't about surrendering to this "disease", it was about letting go of my attachment and the pressure of not being enough.  It was about letting go of the disgust at myself for not being the fit, healthy vibrant person I was just before my Daughter was born.  It wasn't about "smashing" it at the gym because that's what I knew worked or restricting calories because that's what I thought would get off the extra weight I hated.  It was about letting go of all of those old things that I had prescribed to my clients back in my days as a personal trainer and with it, all of those old beliefs and limitations and "identity" level statements (you know the ones, they begin with... I AM and usually end in a criticism of oneself or a "label"). 

Surrender meant giving up the fight with myself and instead, allowing that love to flow in.  Appreciation for my body and the beautiful babies it made, self love, self respect and the realisation that I was exactly the same person - no more, no less - than I used to be; these symptoms didn't define who I was.  They were merely just an experience that I was having.

And so my journey transformed and I started listening to my body and when it felt like a walk in nature, that's what I did and when it felt like smashing it at the gym, that's what I did.  Not because I hated who I was, but because I loved who I was.  I deserved to be looked after.  I tuned into my bodies wisdom for what was right for it to consume, not what others told me I should or shouldn't eat... but rather what my own body responded to.

I do things now because they nourish me, because I desire to do them.  I embrace the extra curves I have right now, knowing that I am more than just my physical self.  I am strong, I am healthy, I am fit and my thoughts are conducive to healing.

When I stopped beating myself up and continued to work on myself - emotionally, physically, spiritually - when I surrendered to a path of effort and ease, a path of nurturing myself, inviting appreciation, love & gratitude for myself and others - my thyroid levels began normalising.  And now, my antibodies have done the same.

Surrender has allowed true healing.

And it's a pattern I see a lot in clients too! 

​It's that acceptance of the way things are right now and being perfectly okay in knowing that neither circumstances or conditioning define who you truly are.  You are more than all of those things!  And in really knowing your self worth in intrinsic and it doesn't change based on what others say or do, or even the things you have done or do (no matter how atrocious they may have been).  There is that soul / energy / life force / spirit (insert whichever word fits best for you) within you that is greater than all of your experiences and in surrendering to that opens you up to truly begin to transform on levels you may never have ever imagined were possible.




For more information about Coaching or Therapy with Tammy, email: tammy@tammybiton.com.au




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It just is...

29/10/2018

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Beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself. – Coco Chanel.

Want the secret to happiness? 

​Well, it certainly isn't compare yourself to everyone else!  Comparison can be dream-killing, anxiety-inducing, friendship-destroying and soul-crushing.  And in this modern age of social media and putting our best self forward, often times we are comparing our worst self with everyone else's best.

But it begins with even the most basic judgements about ourselves and the world around us.  In order to "chunk" the world into process-able pieces, we generalise a lot of information.  In order to be able to define things, we need comparison, right?  These two dogs are both dogs!  I am sure they both bark (though one may be more of a yap), they both the DNA for DOG.  And yet, when we put them next to each other, we can start to compare... big / small, tall / short etc.  But without the comparison, they are just dogs.

So when you are making judgements about your appearance, your skills, your abilities, your strengths, your weaknesses... in fact all judgements about yourself.  What are you comparing to?   Are you comparing your expertise to someone who has been in the field 20 years longer than you? Are you comparing your physique to someone who is naturally more muscular? Are you comparing using those SHOULD, COULD, WOULD's?  They can be TOXIC!

And what about when you're making judgements about others?  Remember, if you can spot it, you've got it!  Others are merely just a reflection of us.  That's both good and bad!  So if you see someone else's intelligence, wit, humour, sexiness... you have that within you (maybe its a trait your not currently honouring, but it's there).  And if you spot someone else and are judging them harshly, what aspects of you are they reflecting that you don't like?  I can promise, it's always about you... your own inner filters of the world, your beliefs, values, experiences etc.

And if you're off comparing what others have or do, it takes the gratitude and appreciation off the blessings in your own life and cause discontentment and in-congruence.   Energy flows where your attention goes.  If you're energy is all focused outward and fuelling internal negativity, their grass will only get greener as yours withers.  Instead, if you think the grass is greener, spend some time weeding your own landscape, nurturing yourself and notice how easily your own life will flourish.    

Bring some attention back to you.  Your own unique strengths, your own unique skills and talents, sprinkle gratitude over what you already have and do.    Need a bit of perspective?  If you made $1500 last year, you're in the top 20% of the worlds income earners!  But does that make you happier than them?

Not happy with your body?  What can you appreciate about it?  What about the magnificent marvel of intricate systems that it is that allow you to wake up and move each day?  Your eyes that allow you to read this email, your heart that pumps the blood all around your body.  You are truly amazing!

In Yoga, there is a term, 
Santosha.  The Sanskrit word santosha is divided into two parts: sam, meaning completely or entirely, and tosha, meaning acceptance, satisfaction, and contentment. Together they create a word that means complete acceptance or contentment. Santosha can be a difficult concept to wrap your head around, particularly if your personal story is filled with negative thoughts like “I’m not good enough,” “I’m too this, or not enough that…”

Does this mean that we should just accept our lives now and not strive to be better? Hell, no!  I am all for growth and betterment!  But it's accepting things as they are now, realising that peace and happiness are within us, that we are so much more than what our ego seeks!  
When we rely on things which are external to us to bring us freedom, we inevitably bind ourselves to discontentment even more.   

You are enough.  Right now, as is.  You always have been and always will be.


With nothing to compare yourself to, aren’t you perfect? — Byron Katie



3 tips to practicing santosha in daily life:

1. Get mindful: notice the times you are ‘living’ in the future or the past and bring your conscious awareness to what you are doing in this moment.  
2. Meditate: daily meditation – in whatever form that is for you – helps bring the mind into the now and find contentment in the present.
3. Get grateful: when you find yourself pining for what you don’t have, stop and focus on something you do have in your life that you are grateful for. It’s impossible to be discontent when you are truly grateful. Start a gratitude journal and write down 3 things each day with you are grateful for



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5 Reasons People Don't Change

24/9/2018

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So often we set out to do things differently.  We set massive goals and make plans to take massive action.  And yet, nothing changes.  Here are 5 reasons why:

  1. Massive action takes massive effort
    Sometimes the shift can be so big, that it's overwhelming and instead of being energised, it leaves you drained.  And sometimes it's just too much change at once!  The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

    If this is the case, break down the goal to what is achievable and feels good!

  2. They are trying to consciously make the changes
    As mentioned in the video, if we are fighting or unconscious patterns and programs consciously, we may be up for a challenge!  And it's almost a sure loss for the will-power!  If you keep yo-yo'ing and you're sick of it... get a Coach!  A coach can help you to identify what patterns and programs are running, what beliefs might be holding you back and help you to get out of your own way.

    And there may be things like who we perceive ourselves to be, what we believe about ourselves or the goal or life, what we value, our skills and capabilities, old and out-dated programs or just habits that are getting in the way.... but all of these things are stored in the unconscious mind!

  3. It isn't important enough, yet
    Sometimes in life we need to juggle our priorities.  In NLP, when setting goals, we ask, is that goal ecological for you and those around you?  In basic terms, it's asking, will any harm come from achieving the goal?  Are any sacrifices that you need to make feasible?

    You may have 6 kids at home or a Mother with dementia or your competing demands are just too big to even allow yourself the time or space right now.  If your goal is causing you a tonne of stress, take the pressure off.  Shift your expectations and set a goal that will allow you to be energised.  Maybe it relates back to #1 and means its a smaller goal!  Maybe it's exercising for just 10 minutes a day or eating 5 serves of vegies, just one step towards a healthier you.  Or maybe it's just to go out and socialise once a week!  
     
    Sometimes we have goals to look better, feel better; but our why isn't strong enough yet.  And in these instances to "chunk up" to find a stronger desire, to build that WANT power.  You can ask yourself, "What will I gain from having that?" and keep asking the question each time you get an answer to keep building that WHY.


  4. There is a secondary gain
    So often we are getting something from the behaviour we are doing and so, it's the path of least resistance.  Think of a toddler who throws tantrums and if the Mum gives in, the next time that toddler wants something... what do they do?  That's right!

    And every behaviour we have, has a positive intention.  It's our mind trying to get it's desires fulfilled, but sometimes it's still operating from old ways.  Think of the smoker who feels relaxed, or the social drinker who feels confident after a few drinks or the employee who feels they aren't good enough, so in order to feel safe and secure, won't even apply for the dream job promotion!

    In these cases, a Coach can help you to explore what the secondary gain is and help to teach the mind new and more productive ways to achieve its desires, ways that are more aligned with what you consciously want to achieve!


  5. They have the desire, but not the resources
    I hear it all the time, I know what I need to do, but I just don't think I can do it.  They don't have the confidence or belief in themselves.  Resources can be skills, money, time, attitudes, personal attributes etc and sometimes a lack of access to these means that you'll fall short of achieving the goal.  It is rare that people come to Coaching with a lack of knowledge on the HOW, they usually know what they need to do in order to achieve their goal, but often times there are resources missing.

    The truth is; if you can spot it, you've got it.  If there are traits you admire in others or qualities that you display in one area of life, but just can't seem to get them into others... you have those resources there!   A coach can help you to map those across, to set anchors so that you have "resources on call",  to up-skill you with what you need to achieve!

    And sometimes the first goal needs to be to get the resources! 




No matter where you're at, if you're ready to explore how Coaching with Tammy can help you achieve your goals; whether it be breaking free from Anxiety & Depression or moving forward on your Health goals or even working on those other areas of life that are impacting you, book in for your FREE 25 minute session to explore your inner world and get a little more clarity and insight.
book in your session
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Sometimes you have to feel it...

25/7/2018

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There are lessons everywhere, being offered to us in every moment if we just paid a little attention.  Being mindful of our emotions., allows for them to become an amazing guidance system for us, allowing us to deep dive into what's going on for us in our inner worlds.

So often we avoid pain, anger, fear, sadness, guilt (the whole array of negative emotions) because we don't want to feel bad.  So we simply ignore them, shut them down, suppress them, binge eat, have a few drinks.... anything other than allowing ourselves to feel them.
Sometimes I get so jealous when I see kids with their grandparents (specifically their Grandfather) because my own Dad died before my kids ever got to meet him.  And that makes me angry and sad and a whole spectrum of things.  Now, I could choose to suppress that or to feel it, to continue the grieving process and allow those feelings to wash up over me and through me.  To allow it to process through and begin to shift into love, gratitude and appreciation that I had such a wonderful Dad who would have been an amazing Granddad.  That I have three beautiful healthy happy children.  And to acknowledge that each and every day, the choices that I make about my own health and well-being may well impact whether I get to see my own Grandchildren or not (in many years to come, my oldest is only just about to turn 10).   This morning, I chose the latter.

You see, even our negative emotions have messages for us, communications about what is important to us, what matters and sometimes, triggers us to pull our head in and get back to what really matters.

So when you notice a negative emotion, sit with it for a moment, allow it like a wave to come and wash over you and then let it flow back to nothing, nothing, nothing.   And then allow the room for the new experience of emotions to come!  

Want to practice?  Next time you're feeling an unpleasant emotion, instead of pushing it away, try welcoming, acknowledging and letting it go with the following steps.  It should take you around 10 minutes.

Mindful Emotions Exercise:

  1. Notice the emotion you are feeling, acknowledge it

  2. Take a few nice slow, deep breaths - in and out

  3. Scan your body from head to toe and notice what sensations are there, you may notice your heart beating or stomach churning or knotted or there may be an ache in your chest or a lump in your throat... without the need to reason, analyse, judge... just notice.

  4. Find the sensation that is most uncomfortable and explore it with a little curiousity

  5. Notice where the sensation starts and ends, does it have any size or shape? colour or texture? any movement? Does it have any temperature? Does it vary in intensity?  Just be curious and explore

  6. Take a few deep breaths and allow those breaths to surrender with the sensation, allowing it to just be as you imagine your breath breathing in and around that sensation.  Without any need to be 'rid of' the emotion, allow it the space to be there

  7. If your conscious mind begins to think, analyse, reason etc... simply say, thanks mind and come back to observing the sensation

  8. You may find this difficult. You may feel a strong urge to fight with it or push it away. If so, just acknowledge this urge, without giving in to it. (Acknowledging is rather like nodding your head in recognition, as if to so "There you are, I see you") Once you've acknowledged that urge, bring yourself back to the sensation itself

  9. Don't try to get rid of the sensation or alter it. If it changes by itself, that's ok. If it doesn't change, that's ok too. Changing or getting rid of it is not the goal

  10. You may need to focus on this sensation for anything from a few seconds to a few minutes, until you completely give up the struggle with it. Be patient. Take as long as you need. You're learning a valuable skill

  11. Once you've done this, scan your body again, and see if there's another strong sensation that's bothering you. If so, repeat the procedure with that one

You can do this with as many different sensations as you want to. Keep going until you have a sense of no longer struggling with your feelings

As you do this exercise, one of two things will happen: either your feelings will change - or they won't. It doesn't matter either way. This exercise is not about changing your feelings. Its about accepting them

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4 Quick Steps to Emotional Acceptance
  1. OBSERVE: Bring awareness to the feelings in your body
  2. BREATHE: Take a few deep breaths. Breathe into and around them
  3. EXPAND: Make room for these feelings. Create some space for them
  4. ALLOW: Allow them to be there. Make peace with them



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What about me? It isn't fair!

23/2/2018

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Ever have those moments when you’ve just had enough?  Where it feels like life has been a rollercoaster ride and you just want to stop the ride for a moment and get off?

And don’t you just love when at the moment, people tell you to think about what you have to be grateful for, to focus on the positive and maybe even to think about the people in that third world country and realise how fortunate you are.  Heck, I’ve even said that and I stand by all of those being great things to acknowledge.  But in that moment, it doesn’t really work, does it? 
And here’s why… it doesn’t address the reason you have those feelings in the first place.  And it assumes that the emotions you are feeling are negative and denies you the right to feel them and therefore you miss the amazing insights that they have for you.

Every behaviour has a positive intention and that includes those so called ‘negative’ emotions, anger, fear, sadness, resentment – all of them have a positive intention behind them.   And trying to ignore or distract yourself from them, doesn’t make them go away.  Instead, we need to learn to acknowledge those feelings and realise that they are like little messengers from our unconscious mind.  They carry important information for us.

All emotions arise for a reason and understanding those messages allows us an insight to our own psyche, our own wants and desires, our needs and values and our connection as a whole human being, integrated and aligned.
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I can share with you what research suggests that signals these feelings to arise, but it’s important for you to acknowledge what they mean for you as a unique individual as they may be slightly different.  Let’s take a look at some examples of what messages emotions may have for you.

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ANGER –
Our anger may be a message that we are being hurt, that our rights are being violated, that our needs or wants are not being adequately met, or simply that something is not right. Our anger may tell us that we are not addressing an important emotional issue in our lives, or that too much of our self – our beliefs, values, desires, or ambitions – is being compromised in a relationship. Our anger may be a signal that we are doing more and giving more than we can comfortably do or give. Or, our anger may warn us that others are doing too much for us, at the expense of our own competence and growth. Just as physical pain tells us to take our hand off the hot stove, the pain of our anger preserves the very integrity of our self. Our anger can motivate us to say ‘no’ to the ways in which we are defined by others and ‘yes’ to the dictates of our inner self. (extract from Dr Harriet Lerner)

FEAR – 
Fear tells us we may be in danger and we have to react to the imminent threat. Failing to act, we could be in trouble.  It’s a self-preservation mechanism that comes up when things are unknown.  A biological response in built in to keep us safe.  But our unconscious mind doesn’t know the difference between real and imagined.  So check in, is the fear in response to real danger or to the movie you have playing in your mind? 

SADNESS –
Sadness is a live emotion that can serve to remind us of what matters to us, what gives our life meaning. As psychologist and author Robert Firestone, has pointed out, “When we feel sadness, it centres us.” 
It may also signal that you have an expectation that’s not being met or you have a sense of loss.   Evaluate whether there really is a loss.   Next, change your perception or change your way of communicating your needs or change your behaviour.
 
GUILT –
Guilt is a signal that you violated one of your own standards.  Don’t stay in guilt, but don’t deny it.  Make things right when you screw up. When you can’t change the past, change your present and future behaviours.  Recognise when you’re feeling guilty when you shouldn’t be, change your perception, and let it go.

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There are obviously loads more emotions that one can feel, and lots of different things that they may be trying to communicate with you.  But if you are feeling that, “Why me?” take a look at what emotions are coming up for you and what they could be communicating.
 
And then once you have explored, accepted and let go of those emotions; consider asking yourself, “What can I appreciate about all of this now?”  and notice what happens.  You may be both suprised and delighted at how easily emotions can come and go and how wonderful it is to allow them to wash up over your and through you and just let them go.  You may notice how awesome emotions can be as a compass to get to know yourself and to really begin to navigate life based on what you want to have happen.

All of this reminds me of the movie, Inside Out, which explores the emotions of 11 year old Riley.  In the headquarters of Riley's mind, Joy is desperate for sadness to not take control... but ultimately, it comes to pass that sadness is experienced and that's when Joy realises that sadness is in fact what cultivates joy.  If you haven't seen it, do yourself a favour and sit down for an awesome insight into our beautiful minds.

I'd love to hear your take-aways, learning and experiences from this article. 

For more information on how NLP, Coaching and Hypnotherapy can assist you in releasing emotions that you have been holding on to and free you from that old baggage, email: tammy@tammybiton.com.au or book in for a free discovery session.
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Bust your stress in under 5 minutes!

26/1/2017

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Stressed and Overwhelmed

Stress is your body’s way of responding to any kind of demand or threat. When you feel threatened, your nervous system responds by releasing a flood of stress hormones, including adrenaline and cortisol, which rouse the body for emergency action. Your heart pounds faster, muscles tighten, blood pressure rises, breath quickens, and your senses become sharper. These physical changes increase your strength and stamina, speed your reaction time, and enhance your focus. This is known as the “fight or flight” response and is your body’s way of protecting you.

There is an optimal amount of stress that will in fact help you to stay focused, energetic and alert.  When stress is within your comfort zone, it can help you to stay focused, energetic, and alert. In emergency situations, stress can save your life—giving you extra strength to defend yourself, for example, or spurring you to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident. Stress can also help you rise to meet challenges. Stress is what keeps you on your toes during a presentation at work, sharpens your concentration when you’re attempting the game-winning free throw, or drives you to study for an exam when you'd rather be watching TV. But beyond your comfort zone, stress stops being helpful and can start causing major damage to your mind and body.

There are numerous emotional and physical disorders that have been linked to stress including depression, anxiety, heart attacks, stroke, hypertension, immune system disturbances that increase susceptibility to infections, a host of viral linked disorders including the common cold as well as autoimmune diseases. In addition stress can have direct effects on the skin, the gastrointestinal system and can contribute to insomnia and degenerative neurological disorders like Parkinson’s disease.

But, you are in charge of your mind and therefore your life!  You can chose to adopt simple techniques that will bust your stress in less than 5 minutes!  It can be quick and easy to bring yourself back into balance and I will show you how!  But first, I'd like for you to imagine that you put a pot of water on the stove and turn the heat up.  There are a few scenarios I'd like you to consider.

First, add some low level heat that just allows the water to warm just slightly - you may notice that not much happens... but over time, if you leave the water at that low level, it will eventually evaporate (though it will take quite a while).

Now, turn up the heat and have that pot simmer - not so much heat or pressure that it boils, but just enough to have it at a constant simmer.  This is how many of us live!  The stress of poor nutrition (yes, I mean processed foods and sugars) added to the lack of exercise, the stress of managing a family or being stuck in traffic, the stress of finances or not enough time to do everything, the stress of running a household and the stress of our jobs.  All of that just leaves us simmering on the stove.  And that water, evaporates much quicker than the one at just a low level.

Now, turn up the heat!  Get that water boiling!  Maybe its a sick child or an infection or a deadline at work or you lose your job or someone else you love gets sick and suddenly the pot is boiling over and becomes empty - completely depleted! 

Imagine that water is your ability to cope.  It doesn't matter whether you have it warming slowly or boiling rapidly, if you allow the water to get even close to empty, you may begin to notice overwhelm, exhaustion, illness, anxiety and depression.  But if you just remove the pot for 5 minutes, refill it with water before adding it back to the stove - it will always have enough water in it.  And you will always have enough resilience and the ability to manage your stress.

So, how do you cool that pot and refill it in just 5 minutes?  Take control of your autonomic nervous system in the one way that you can - using your breath!  Long breaths in and short breaths out will increase your stress, long slow breaths out will decrease your stress and nice even breaths will bring you back into balance. 

To begin - take a few nice deep breathes in through your nose and then slowly exhale - letting all of the air out.  Do this for 3-5 deep breaths and then slowly bring your breath back into balance.  Depending on how used to deep breathing you are - you may only be able to breath in deeply for 3 seconds (or up to 6-8)!  If you need some guidance, use the clock below.  Breath in for 3 seconds and out for 3 seconds (or in on the blue, out on the green).  You can also increase the time to 6 seconds and use the blue or green to indicate a change in inhale or exhale.

Just 5 minutes of this balanced breathing can have a massive shift in your internal physiology - reducing adrenalin and cortisol and reducing all of the above mentioned stress related symptoms.   It's even better if you do it a few times a day!

Give it a try and let me know what you notice after just a few minutes!

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About Tammy Biton

Tammy Biton is a Clinical Hypnotherapist, Master NLP Practitioner, Wellness Coach and Trainer. She has been in the Health and Wellness industry since 2009 and has helped hundreds of people to overcome the psychological and emotional barriers that held them back from achieving Health and Wellness. 

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9 Top Myths of Hypnotherapy

23/1/2017

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 Hypnotherapy is a wonderful modality for helping to creating lasting positive change.  But thanks to Hollywood movies and the perception of Stage Hypnosis - there are a lot of myths around it.  So whilst Hypnotherapy has fantastic success rates, there are even more people who could benefit from Hypnotherapy if they were no longer stuck in fear of what are really, just myths!  Let's explore some of the top myths!

1. The Hypnotist will be able to control My Mind
The truth is no-one can control your mind!  One of the prime directives of your unconscious mind is self preservation, so your own mind will not allow you to take on suggestions that are not of benefit to you.  When working with Mind Matters with Tammy Biton, all hypnotic suggestions are based on our first session where we get a detailed insight into where you are now and where you want to be.  What resources (eg confidence, relaxation etc) that you have and / or need to get the changes you are seeking and what interference might prevent you for achieving that goal.

2. I will be made to do silly things like cluck like a Chicken or bark like a Dog
Sure, if you go to see a stage hypnotist and you pass the suggestibility tests and the susceptibility test and you are an extroverted personality who wants to have a laugh with your friends, you may end up on stage clucking like a chicken.  But as mentioned above - only if you want to!  Those that are most suggestible (meaning easily hypnotised) may not be the same people on the night who are susceptible!  You have to have the right type of personality and motivation.  So yes, I am trained to be able to make people cluck like a chicken - but that's not what our goal is in Clinical Hypnotherapy.   

3.  Hypnotists have special powers
Well, not really!  The thought that hypnotists have “special powers” originates from a Hollywood fiction. The truth is that hypnotists do not have any special powers, not even the stage hypnotists you may have seen. We have special skills, a deep knowledge of psychology and the human psyche, experience of working with people, but no special powers. With sufficient effort and practice, most people could induce a formal state of hypnosis in someone else, but only with the person’s permission. Of course, the real skill is in the way we can use the hypnotic state to help people.

3.  Not everyone can be hypnotised
Well, not really!  Whilst it is true that some people are more suggestible to hypnosis, it very often comes down to the person’s motivation, willingness and ability to concentrate. Everyone is suggestible to a certain degree. If you are interested in something and it is something that you want, then you will be open to its effects. It is the same with self hypnosis — if you want it to work and you co-operate, then you will reap the rewards.  The truth is you go into a Hypnotic State at least twice a day!  That moment just as you are drifting off to sleep and just as you begin to wake - your brainwaves are actually in the hypnotic state.   When you get so engrossed in a book that you are visualising the characters or when you begin to cry when watching a movie or even when you drive on autopilot - these are all forms of hypnosis

 Hypnotherapy is a wonderful modality for helping to creating lasting positive change.  But thanks to Hollywood movies and the perception of Stage Hypnosis - there are a lot of myths around it.  So whilst Hypnotherapy has fantastic success rates, there are even more people who could benefit from Hypnotherapy if they were no longer stuck in fear of what are really, just myths!  Let's explore the top 10 myths!

Myth 1. The Hypnotist will be able to control My Mind
The truth is no-one can control your mind!  One of the prime directives of your unconscious mind is self preservation, so your own mind will not allow you to take on suggestions that are not of benefit to you.  When working with Mind Matters with Tammy Biton, all hypnotic suggestions are based on our first session where we get a detailed insight into where you are now and where you want to be.  What resources (eg confidence, relaxation etc) that you have and / or need to get the changes you are seeking and what interference might prevent you for achieving that goal.

Myth 2. I will be made to do silly things like cluck like a Chicken or bark like a Dog
Sure, if you go to see a stage hypnotist and you pass the suggestibility tests and the susceptibility test and you are an extroverted personality who wants to have a laugh with your friends, you may end up on stage clucking like a chicken.  But as mentioned above - only if you want to!  Those that are most suggestible (meaning easily hypnotised) may not be the same people on the night who are susceptible!  You have to have the right type of personality and motivation.  So yes, I am trained to be able to make people cluck like a chicken - but that's not what our goal is in Clinical Hypnotherapy.   

Myth 3.  Hypnotists have special powers
Well, not really!  The thought that hypnotists have “special powers” originates from a Hollywood fiction. The truth is that hypnotists do not have any special powers, not even the stage hypnotists you may have seen. We have special skills, a deep knowledge of psychology and the human psyche, experience of working with people, but no special powers. With sufficient effort and practice, most people could induce a formal state of hypnosis in someone else, but only with the person’s permission. Of course, the real skill is in the way we can use the hypnotic state to help people.

Myth 4.  But, it's only the weak minded or stupid that are suggestible
Well, again, no!  This is an archaic belief that has, in recent times, been proven untrue. It was thought, long ago, that only 50% of the population could be hypnotised. Over the last 40 years, hypnotherapists have developed methods to induce hypnosis in 100% of the population. During your first session, we utilise these methods to determine what type of suggestibility you have, and hence, how to hypnotise you.  And as for your intelligence, in fact, the higher your IQ, the more likely you are to be a great hypnotic subject!

Myth 5. You won't be conscious during hypnosis
It is true that we work with your subconscious mind during hypnosis, but you won't be unconscious!  You will have awareness of your surroundings and still be able to hear my voice (how else would we be able to give you suggestions?).   The level of consciousness that is required is completely dependent on the client, some can be in an extremely light state of trance and some can be very deep!  Just as when you sleep you cycle through different "waves", the same happens with hypnosis so you may even experience varying levels of consciousness within the one session.  The key to the success of the session is your active involvement in the process.  Most people find that no matter what level of consciousness they are at they will feel relaxed during the session.

Myth 6. Hypnosis is a magic wand or miracle cure
It is true that hypnosis is a brief therapy and creates rapid change when compared with other modalities!  But there is no magic wand or miracle cure!  A hypnotist will not be able to fix all issues in a single session.  It takes involvement from you so that we can work in a partnership to get you the positive changes you seek.  Some things like simple habits (nail biting etc may be resolved in 1-2 sessions and other things like Depression and Anxiety require more.  It should be noted that most things can be resolved within 6-12 sessions.  So, yes, it is brief when you compare 12 hours of Hypnotherapy vs 600 hours of traditional psychotherapy.

Myth 7. People will remember everything under Hypnosis
There are certain methodologies (such as hypnoanalysis) that may help a person recall things from their past, if that is going to be useful for them.   But unless it is useful for the outcome of the session, there isn't really a whole lot of reason to do this and remember, your unconscious mind's primary role is to ensure self preservation and safety.  So there are many ways that we can clear old emotion and get understandings and insights without the need to consciously remember traumatic events from our past.

Myth 8.  People get stuck in a trance state
Again, thank you Hollywood.  None of my clients have every been stuck in hypnosis, nor will they ever be.  It is a naturally occurring state that we go into ourselves each and every day.  In fact, if I could rename Hypnosis, I would call it functional awareness!   The absolute worst thing that can happen is that you drift off to sleep and either I wake you or you wake natural and we continue the session.


Myth 9. People forget everything that was said in a session
While some people do consciously forget much of what was said in a hypnosis session, you will likely also remember a lot of the suggestions.  Hypnosis is like daydreaming or night dreaming – often you remember the suggestions that were spoken to you at random times, when you find yourself responding differently to typical situations.  For example, you may have been using hypnosis to lose weight, and notice that you are not even tempted by the plate of cookies that’s been placed in front of you. At that point, you may have a memory of the hypnotist telling you that cookies are unappealing.


There are of course more myths around Hypnotherapy, but these are the top ones that I hear all the time.  If you have any questions around Hypnotherapy, I would be more than happy to answer them.  Feel free to contact me via email at: tammy@tammybiton.com.au or phoning me on 0425 209 677.

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Connecting with the intelligences of your head, heart & gut

3/11/2016

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In this webinar, Tammy Biton explores how we can use our breath to create coherence and tap into the wisdom of the Head, Heart & Gut brain.

Unlike in traditional hypnotherapy or relaxation - we are not using relaxation breathing!  We use the research of the Heart Math Institute and Neuroscience pulled together by Marvin Oka and Grant Soosla to control our autonomic nervous system with balanced breathing.

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Using relaxation to enhance your visualisations

27/10/2016

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In this video, we explore a wonderful self hypnosis technique which you can use to enhance your visualisation practice.  If you don't already use visualisation to help you to embody your goals, maybe its good to note that Oprah Winfrey openly shares her visualisation boards, Arnold Schwarzenegger swore by the power of visualisation to help him reach his body building goals, Will Smith and Jim Carrey both openly share their beliefs in the power of visualisation.  So if you don't do it already - when would now be a good time to start?

Choose a goal that you want to achieve.  It doesn't matter if its financial, health, spiritual or from any other area of your life.  Why is this goal important to you?  What will you see, hear and feel when you have achieved it?

Now that you know what it is you want... use this wonderful self hypnosis / relaxation tool to help you to really connect with the goal!

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October 13th, 2016

13/10/2016

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This latest video was posted on Facebook addressing some questions asked in a Sutherland Shire group around Hypnotherapy.  I hope it helps debunk some of the myths!

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=982354535220779&id=329362577186648
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What is intention?

13/10/2016

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I can remember all the way back to my first day in a classroom learning NLP!  We were asked to set an intention for the overall NLP Practitioner Certification and then for Day 1.  Back then, the idea of deliberately setting my intention for something was all new to me, just as it may be for you now.

So what is intention?  Well, according to the dictionary it is:
* a determination to act in a certain way
* what one intends to do or bring about
* an anticipated outcome that is intended or that guides your planned actions


According to our legal system... your intention is what will make all the difference if you have committed a serious crime.  Did you mean to do what you did?  Was there "intent"?

Those in the spiritual or personal development realms will tell you that everything in the universe starts with intention, with a simple thought!  "
An intention is a directed impulse of consciousness that contains the seed form of that which you aim to create. Like real seeds, intentions can’t grow if you hold on to them. Only when you release your intentions into the fertile depths of your consciousness can they grow and flourish" (Deepak Chopra)

So, our intention is obviously a very powerful and meaningful thing!  What happens when we deliberately set out intention for a positive purpose?  Well, it sets your focus and your priority and keeps you aligned to what you desire! 
When you set a clear and personally compelling intention you will tend to act in ways, respond to situations, create supportive opportunities, and make choices in harmony with your intention.  Essentially, you will have a tendency to have the experience that you consciously determine is important to you.

One might set an intention for what they want to get out of a workshop - for me, all the way back then in my first NLP Training, my intention was, "to begin to be the best that I can be" and "to help others in achieving their goals & both physical and mental well-being"!  (That's straight out of my manual).  I still set my intention for how I want to be or what I want to do in a day.  Yesterday, my intention was, "to be present with my kids".  Today, my intentions are more like tasks, "write a blog post & do 10,000 steps". 

So you can set your intention for what you want to DO in the day or how you want to BE in the day or what you want to HAVE!  Whatever resonates with you... take the time tomorrow morning (and for the next few days) to set your intention for the day.  Reflect back at the end of the day - what do you notice?

I'd love to hear all about the changes you notice!

You can email me at: tammy@tammybiton.com.au (or just comment below this post)



 

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Dreams V Goals

8/6/2016

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We've all heard about the Law of Attraction - right?  Dream and envisage anything you desire and it will manifest itself.  Well, I don't have a bright Red Porsche parked in my driveway!  And the truth is, I don't dream of having one either!

Firstly, I'd like to take a moment to explain the difference between a dream and a goal - because they are not the same thing!   The dictionary defines dreams as "a succession of images, thoughts, or emotions passing through the mind" or "a vision... indulged in while awake".  A goal is stated as "the aim or object towards which an endeavour is directed".

So when you think about having a dream - think of a small child. They may dream of being an astronaut or a fireman or a ballerina or in my son's case, a Snake Catcher.  There is no real awareness as to how they might achieve that!  No considerations of the training that they may need to undertake or the risks involved is that chosen profession, no limiting beliefs that they can't do that or that they are not good enough.  That's just what they want to be.  And when you consider a goal, think of someone wanting to lose 5kg or a business wanting to make a million dollar turnover.  They are clearly stated (and they should be realistic and attainable). 

I encourage all of my clients to have a dream!  And create a clear vision of those dreams. Whether it be health, career, financial, spiritual or any other area of life... allow your mind to visit what it would look like.  What would you see, hear and feel if that was your reality right now?  How would it be?  A dream or vision board is a great way to do this.  Collect images and words or quotes that inspire you.  Why would you do this?

Assuming you have a car... let me take you back to the time BEFORE you got your new car.  You were thinking about what you wanted, maybe you did a little research... I wonder how many of the make and model you ended up purchasing you saw on the road?  Now fast forward to that moment you started driving your new car.  I bet suddenly it seemed that car was everywhere!  Or perhaps you had driven down the same street a million times and never noticed that particular shop, until you needed it!  And suddenly you wonder if that has really been there the whole time?

Your brain receives 2,000,000 bits of information per second!  That's right - TWO MILLION!  But it distorts, deletes and generalises that information down to 7-9 pieces.  These distortions, deletions and generalisations are based on the filters that you have established - your beliefs, your values, language, patterns and programming and past experiences.  So subconsciously, your mind decides what you will pay attention to and what you will ignore, without any conscious awareness of this happening.

But just like when you got that new car, you updated what was within your world and therefore began seeing more of that car - you can bring new dreams in so that your mind can expand its "search data" and begin noticing opportunities that may have always been there... you just hadn't noticed them!  And of course, sometimes you need to work on your beliefs or values and a great coach can help you to overcome all of those things.

For now though, I'd like to return to the idea of a Goal.  Now in my clinic, I don't work with people's dreams.  I work to help them achieve goals.  So a goal could very well be one of the steps toward your dream.  For example, if you want to be a multi-millionaire - your first goal might be to earn more money.  Or if you dream of being super healthy and being fully inspired in that area of life - your goal might first be to run a marathon or lose that 5 (or more) kilo of fat.

Unlike dreams, your goals need to be realistic and achievable.  You need not know all of the steps that you need to take to achieve it - but you do need to identify that first step.  Your goals should be measurable and evidence based - how will you know that you have achieved it? 

In NLP, we use Well-Formed-Outcomes to set up goals.  So if you have a goal, sit down and take some time to answer the following:


WHAT
What is it that you want (this should be stated in the positive).  What will it look like, feel like, sound like when you have this?


CONTEXTS
When? Where and with Whom will you have this?

PURPOSE
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Why?  For what reason do you want this?  What is your intention in wanting this?

PROCESSES / HOW
How will you do this?  Have you ever done this before?  What resources do you need (eg. help from someone else, obtaining more knowledge, a gym membership etc)?  What resources do you already have to help you achieve this (e.g. Skills, knowledge, experience, tools)?


CHECKS
Is there any negative impact on you or those around you of having this and achieving this goal? 


Once you have done this... go back and consider, what is the very first step?  What action do you need to take right now to achieve the goal?  You don't necessarily need to know all of the steps - perhaps you need to get the assistance of experts or obtain more knowledge in order to determine the other steps.  For example, if you have a strong financial goal - you may need to consult a Financial Planner or Wealth Advisor or if you have a health goal - you may need to work with a Trainer or Nutritionist.

All you need to know... is what is that first step?

All you need to do... is take it!

Once you've taken the first step - determine the next step... once you know... take it... and then the next one and the next one...










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Mindfulness can be an every day task...

18/4/2016

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In order to get the benefits of meditation, you don't have to retreat to the mountains for days at a time or sit cross legged on a cushion (though you can do these things if you want to).  But you can just bring mindfulness to activities that you already do each and every day!

Here are some examples:

* Brushing Your Teeth - this is an activity that you do at least once a day (hopefully... and if not - now is a great time to start), but because you do it everyday - it is something that most people do mindlessly.  Instead, try using your other hand to brush your teeth... focus on each and every tooth, the front, back and top - the taste of the toothpaste, the feel of the toothbrush and the "round and round" motion. 

* Breathing - we automatically breath in and out, it doesn't require conscious effort, but that doesn't mean we can't make it conscious.  Bring your attention to your breath, there is no need to change the way you are breathing - just focus on the feeling as you breath in through your nose and follow that breath down through to your chest and belly and as you exhale - follow that sensation all the way back out again.

* Pause - Breath - Smile:  I love this!  Just stop whatever you are doing... take a moment to take a nice deep breath in through your nose, allowing it to fill your lungs - exhale slowly... then smile.  (It doesn't matter if its a real smile or not... if its not a real smile, hold it for longer and do it again).  There is a cascade of neurochemicals (feel good hormones) that are released when we smile (in fact some researchers found that a smile generates as much brain activity as winning $25,000).

There is a long list of benefits one can get from a good mediation practice, but why don't you try it for yourself... try one or all of these each day for 30 Days (you can do them just once or many times in the day).  I'd love to hear what you notice after the 30 Days.
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My Hypnobirthing Story

12/11/2014

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I wanted to share with your briefly my birth experiences and why it is that I love teaching Hypnobirthing Australia Childbirth Education Classes!

At around 10 weeks pregnant with my first child, I booked into the Birth Centre at my local hospital.  I was having a natural drug free birth - there was no question about it!  But at 41+ weeks when my "big" baby was showing no signs of joining us, I was induced.  From there, it was everything but the natural birth that I had been so focused on and I was absolutely devastated!  I had never even considered "What if things don't go according to plan?"

So when I was pregnant with my second, I started researching and learning and applied that knowledge to my experience.  I was still keen for a natural birth and attempted VBAC, but at 42 weeks when induction was unsuccessful... I experienced an amazing and beautiful caesarean delivery!  We had skin to skin contact in theatre (in fact, my midwife assisted me to have him breastfeed whilst they were still stitching me up).

And that brings me to baby number 3!  I was now a Hypnobirthing Practitioner and although again, it was an unsuccessful VBAC, I did experience spontaneous labour and a positive caesarean!  My beautiful baby girl was born on the 26th August, she shares my birthday!

I am extremely passionate about helping woman to prepare for a Positive Birth experience!  And with the knowledge, tools and techniques we share in the Hypnobirthing Australia course you will be fully prepared for a natural vaginal delivery or whatever turn your birthing may take!

And for those Mumma's who know they have to have a caesarean and want to be empowered with knowledge about birth, bonding and preparing for a speedy recovery, I also run a 4 hour "Preparing for a Positive Caesarean" course.

For more information, contact me on: 0425 209 677
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Importance of a Positive Birth Experience

10/11/2014

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With last month being Mental Health Month, there is no better time for open and frank discussions surrounding the topic of local women’s mental health and its impact on children in-utero.

Education and empowerment are keys to how women view their birth experience.  Without these factors, women are at a higher risk of developing Post Natal Depression as a result of feeling inadequate, should their desire for a completely natural birth take a different turn.

Research has also shown that there is a direct correlation between the mental health of a mother and the development of a child’s brain in-utero. High levels of stress during pregnancy can lead to a child being overly sensitive to stress in later life. So, the importance of mental health for women during pregnancy and childbirth cannot be understated.
  • One in seven women is diagnosed with postnatal depression each year in Australia (Deloitte 2012).

  • Postnatal depression affects the family unit as a whole, not just the mother.

  • Around 20–40% of mums who have previously had postnatal depression will experience it again after the birth of a subsequent child. (Austin & Priest, 2005).

  • Postnatal Depression puts a strain on relationships and the mother-child bond.  

  • Taking positive steps before giving birth is key to reducing the risk of Postnatal Depression.


What I cover in the Hypnobirthing Australia classes is so much more than your standard antenatal "fear" classes!  It's about empowering you with knowledge and skills to have a great birth!  Having had vast experience in helping women overcome abuse, trauma, anxiety and depression, I use these skills, along with my own experiences of childbirth to help women have their own positive birth experience. 

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The Law of Cause v Effect

25/4/2014

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The Law of Cause and Effect states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Every cause has an effect, and every effect has a cause. Cause Causes Certain Effect. (C > E) Your results are the effects of your thinking and behaviour. When I say Results I mean every single thing in your life. There are Reasons (for not getting results) or Results. If you think about it any outcome that you created in your life must have come from a behaviour that you produced. There can’t be more on the effect side than it is on the cause side.

Focus on what you want, i.e. positive thoughts, because by Law that is what will come back to you… cause and effect… Be at cause for what you want, and you will get the effect. All thought is creative, so be careful what you wish for... you will get it.

How empowering is it to be on the Cause side of life and how disempowering is it to be on the effect side. Think about when you’re 90 or 140 years old, how valuable will those excuses be?

Accept responsibility and look for the learning, rather than hide behind your pride and reject the fact that you are the Cause for your behaviour which causes Results in your life. You see the moment you reject the Cause, you close yourself off to the. And you will probably continue to create the same results, until you learn what you need in order to grow and expand.

Learnings means Resources, they are strategies, decisions, beliefs that you can utilize in the future so that whatever happened in the past won’t repeat itself. You need to learn in order to grow; your comfort zone is living in the illusion that you and everything can stay the way it is. In nature nothing can stay the way it is, you’re either busy growing or dying.

Are you on the effect side, with no power to do or change anything? Or are you on the Cause side, where you are in charge of your life and the results that you are creating. You can’t play half way, you are either on the CAUSE side for every single result that you created in your life, and I mean everything. Because the moment you exclude any result you step onto the Effect side. You become a hypocrite, changing the rules where you see fit.

“Which side of the Cause and Effect equation are you on?”
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Banana lime yoghurt dressing w grilled venison/chicken

13/4/2014

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A few years ago, I was lucky enough to spend a day in the kitchen with Chef Alan Brown (Senior Chef Lecturer at Auckland University of Technology) and he taught me some wonderful healthy (and amazingly tasty) recipes.  This one is great for the kids, adults, parties, lunch or dinner!  Give it a try this week!

(P.S. For those of you who didn't know me back then - my hairstyle wasn't a fashion choice... I shaved my head to raise funds for the Leukemia Foundation)

Ingredients:
1 Banana
350g Greek Yogurt (thick)
Zest & juice of 2 limes
Bunch of fresh coriander leaves
Salt & pepper

8 x bamboo sticks of venison/chicken breast 

Step 1: Blend all of the ingredients together (except for the chicken of course)

Step 2: Grill the chicken or venison skewers

Step 3: Serve & Eat

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Only part of the picture?

9/4/2014

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What do you see in this picture?

Our brains receive over 2 million bits of information every second... and we can only process between 5-9 bits of that information.  Our past experiences, beliefs, values, language (what NLP calls our 'filters') determines what information we take in and how we PERCEIVE that information.

So, it can be said that we only ever really see part of the picture or "not the whole story".  When what you are interpreting (or what you see) isn't working for you.  Try one of the following:

1) Imagine stepping into the situation and seeing it from someone else's perspective - what would they see, hear, feel?  What about a fly on the wall?  What picture would they see?

2) Ask yourself, what else could it mean?  Keep asking yourself this question until you get at least 3 or 4 other interpretations of what it could mean..

By the way... did you see both the frog and the horse in the picture above?



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The Key to Happiness = Gratitude

21/11/2013

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Do you know someone who is eternally optimistic?  Do you admire that trait?  The good news is that a positive attitude can be cultivated!  You too can choose to see the opportunities presented in the challenges life delivers and find the goodness in the most difficult of people!  It just takes practice!

Studies have shown that adopting an attitude of gratitude can help you to be more emotionally resilient, boost your mood and improve your general well-being... and there are many more added benefits.

Set a goal to practice gratitude every day for 30 days and see the benefits for yourself!  Not sure where to start?  Try one of the following:
  • Share your gratitude - write a thank you note to someone and thank them for something kind that they have said or done or for the positive impact they have had on your life (and then send it or give it to them)
  • Gratitude Journal - you can choose to write in it every morning and every night (just a few things that you appreciate or are blessed with), you may choose to write just one thing or 5 things each day.
  • Compliment someone or something- compliment someone else each day, for example, "It's so nice and sunny today, don't you think?"
  • Meditate - find a quiet space, close your eyes, take a few deep breathes in and focus on your chest / abdomen rising and falling with that breath.  Then bring your awareness to your heart and think of all the things you are thankful for.

Enjoy the benefits!  If you have other ways that you like to express gratitude, please share them with us.



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Detoxing?

10/11/2013

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The silly season is almost upon us, a time where we have the tendency to eat too much and drink too much and we're often left feeling less than perfect!

Many people believe that a strict detox diet is necessary for the body to recover.  I completely disagree!

We need to treat our bodies with respect and compassion - and cutting out the majority of food sources is not the way to do this.  Our human body is remarkable and has the ability to heal itself.  So instead of detoxing... focus on eliminating those things that stress the body - sugar,white flour, alcohol, medications (e.g. pain relief, DO NOT eliminate medications that have been prescribed for you) and increase the things that can help your body to cleanse itself.

A perfect nourishing day (in my opinion) reduces the load of the body.  Eliminate processed foods and focus on loads of fresh fruit and vegetables.  You could trr the following:

Breakfast:
* 2 Eggs Scambled with garlic, onion, mushrooms and served with a handful of baby spinach
* Cup of Dandelion Root Tea (with no milk)

Snack:
* 1/2 Cup Greek Yoghurt with a small handful of nuts and seeds and a piece of fruit
* Cup of Green Tea

Lunch:
* Lentil Salad: Lentils, Garlic, Capsicum, Parsley, Tomato, Carrot, Onion, 1 tbs almonds and a dash of olive oil and red wine vinegar as dressing
* Cup of Dandelion Tea

Snack:
* Any fruit and a handful of seeds and nuts
* Cup of Green Tea

Dinner:
* Fish, Lean Meat or Chicken without Skin and loads of vegetables - broccoli, carrot, zucchini, cauliflower, capsicum etc
* Cup of Green Tea

Remember: 
* Drink at least 2 litres of water AND
* Anything that is bitter will help stimulate your digestive enzymes and in turn, assist the liver.  If you can eat or juice raw leafy green - broccoli, kale, dandelion leaves!  Add in some apples (great for cleansing the digestive tract) and some carrots and beetroot!  It's the perfect concoction for helping the body to boost its own cleansing ability!

HAPPY HOLIDAY SEASON!





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    Author

    Tammy is a highly sought after Coach and Therapist.  She is a qualified Master NLP Practitioner, Certified NLP Trainer,  Master Hypnotist, Life Coach.

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