5 Reasons People Don't Change

So often we set out to do things differently.  We set massive goals and make plans to take massive action.  And yet, nothing changes.  Here are 5 reasons why:

1. Massive action takes massive effort
   Sometimes the shift can be so big, that it's overwhelming and instead of being energised, it leaves you drained.  And sometimes it's just too much change at once!  The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
   
   If this is the case, break down the goal to what is achievable and feels good!
   
   
2. They are trying to consciously make the changes
   As mentioned in the video, if we are fighting or unconscious patterns and programs consciously, we may be up for a challenge!  And it's almost a sure loss for the will-power!  If you keep yo-yo'ing and you're sick of it... get a Coach!  A coach can help you to identify what patterns and programs are running, what beliefs might be holding you back and help you to get out of your own way.
   
   And there may be things like who we perceive ourselves to be, what we believe about ourselves or the goal or life, what we value, our skills and capabilities, old and out-dated programs or just habits that are getting in the way.... but all of these things are stored in the unconscious mind!
   
   
3. It isn't important enough, yet
   Sometimes in life we need to juggle our priorities.  In NLP, when setting goals, we ask, is that goal ecological for you and those around you?  In basic terms, it's asking, will any harm come from achieving the goal?  Are any sacrifices that you need to make feasible?
   
   You may have 6 kids at home or a Mother with dementia or your competing demands are just too big to even allow yourself the time or space right now.  If your goal is causing you a tonne of stress, take the pressure off.  Shift your expectations and set a goal that will allow you to be energised.  Maybe it relates back to #1 and means its a smaller goal!  Maybe it's exercising for just 10 minutes a day or eating 5 serves of vegies, just one step towards a healthier you.  Or maybe it's just to go out and socialise once a week!  
    
   Sometimes we have goals to look better, feel better; but our why isn't strong enough yet.  And in these instances to "chunk up" to find a stronger desire, to build that WANT power.  You can ask yourself, "What will I gain from having that?" and keep asking the question each time you get an answer to keep building that WHY.
   
   
   
4. There is a secondary gain
   So often we are getting something from the behaviour we are doing and so, it's the path of least resistance.  Think of a toddler who throws tantrums and if the Mum gives in, the next time that toddler wants something... what do they do?  That's right!
   
   And every behaviour we have, has a positive intention.  It's our mind trying to get it's desires fulfilled, but sometimes it's still operating from old ways.  Think of the smoker who feels relaxed, or the social drinker who feels confident after a few drinks or the employee who feels they aren't good enough, so in order to feel safe and secure, won't even apply for the dream job promotion!
   
   In these cases, a Coach can help you to explore what the secondary gain is and help to teach the mind new and more productive ways to achieve its desires, ways that are more aligned with what you consciously want to achieve!
   
   
   
5. They have the desire, but not the resources
   I hear it all the time, I know what I need to do, but I just don't think I can do it.  They don't have the confidence or belief in themselves.  Resources can be skills, money, time, attitudes, personal attributes etc and sometimes a lack of access to these means that you'll fall short of achieving the goal.  It is rare that people come to Coaching with a lack of knowledge on the HOW, they usually know what they need to do in order to achieve their goal, but often times there are resources missing.
   
   The truth is; if you can spot it, you've got it.  If there are traits you admire in others or qualities that you display in one area of life, but just can't seem to get them into others... you have those resources there!   A coach can help you to map those across, to set anchors so that you have "resources on call",  to up-skill you with what you need to achieve!
   
   And sometimes the first goal needs to be to get the resources! 

No matter where you're at, if you're ready to explore how Coaching with Tammy can help you achieve your goals; whether it be breaking free from Anxiety & Depression or moving forward on your Health goals or even working on those other areas of life that are impacting you, book in for your FREE 25 minute session to explore your inner world and get a little more clarity and insight.

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